JENNY TALS

RIP to the people in the world named this.

Funny name rating: LMAO/10

Godaaaaa*n

 Tacographics is still here and rating society now

Fat rating 10/10

Salt rating 10/10

Hey

sup it's Tacographics.  Life is a wild ride.  I dated someone for almost a year who hated tacos because she dated a guy from Colombia a few years ago and he cheated on her. The f.  Anyway, I'm still a huge fan of tacos but the older I get the more refined my palate is (I'm still way behind for my age, definitely).  I have literally taught kids how to cook and eat healthy as a job and some of them have tried more food than I did up until recently.

The taco hater girl did introduce me to some good seafood and I thank her for getting me into more light entrees - my health is the best its been.

Tl;dr - I eat more shrimp tacos now.

Hope everyone has a Happy 2027, President Pence is doing exactly what we thought he would after Trump's heart disease.  I still can't believe Bernie died too. F.  YANG 2028 NEETBUX REVOLUTION.

Tacographics 2019 Travel Guide

Yelp.com

TACOGRAPHICS UPDATE

I have been eating a lot more delicious food in the past couple years that I have not reviewed because life is an arbitrary facade we're all going to die when AI becomes self-aware and poisons our water supply on Earth while the 1% laugh through a planetary telescope at our swift extinction.

While I still have a similar taste in food as my old reviews, I cannot live without spice now.

I'm still not a put-sriracha-on-everything eater, but I do enjoy some kick to my meals.

Here is 

Tacographics 2017 Food Rankings 

(both white-washed and authentic):

1. Mexican  - Flavors, textures, and spices everywhere.  My go-to meal is some spicy chicken tacos with black beans mixed with spicy guac + chips and sometimes pico with jalapenos.  Fucking delicious. CARNE FUCKING ASADA.

2. American - Nothing beats a medium-well steak seasoned with garlic salt and pepper with some mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, and garlic bread.  I also love grilled chicken, burgers, brisket, ribs, etc.  slathered in some spicy bbq sauce.  Fuck yeaaaaaaaaah dawg. Fried chicken....

3. Greek - I've only been to one greek place (twice), but motherfuck, skordalia is the most underrated dip on Earth (see pic). Also, dat meal on the right.

4. Lebanese- Yo, this stuff is healthy and overall dope.  Chicken kabob plates with hummus, tzatziki, pita bread, tabbouleh.

5.  Brazilian - I've only had it once, but fuuuuuggggg it was great.  I don't remember the names of the balls of bread with cheese in them, the meats, soups, and sides....gotta try again.

6. Italian - Pizza, chicken parm, and yes chicken parm pizza u bitch.  M a r i n a r a  s a u c e.  Also, salad with homemade dressing...

7. Argentine - Empanadas with chimichurri.  Fuck.

8. Salvadorian - Pupusas....

9.  Japanese - Chicken or beef with spicy teriyaki sauce, veggies, sticky rice.  Good!

10. Indian - Tikki masala or lamb vindaloo with medium spice + rice and garlic naaaaaaaaan.  Hits the spot once in a while.

11. Hawaiian - Chicken katsu.

11. Vietnamese - Pho is dope af to eat when I'm sick.

12. Chinese - Haven't had good Chinese in a long-ass time.  Idk.

13. Korean - Same


IF NOT LISTED I HAVE NOT TRIED YET.

TACO MOTHERFUCKING GRAPHICS BITCH

TACO MOTHERFUCKING GRAPHICS BITCH TACO MOTHERFUCKING GRAPHICS BITCH 

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Rounds - BBQ Chicken Burger and Fries

Rounds is basically a fast-casual version of Slaters 50/50 minus the bacon in the burger patty gimmick.  You can customize a burger with a bunch of wacky and crazy combinations.

Before I get to the food, I would like to note how uncomfortable the seating was here.  I don't think I saw a single chair with any back support.  While I, Tacographics do not have an ailing back, where I sat in particular was peculiar.  The space between the wall and my back was a good 2 feet. WTF IS THIS. IDK.

Getting on to the food, I ordered a BBQ Chicken sandwich (burger?) with lettuce, tomato, swiss, and bacon with a side of fries.

Bun - Sort of a modern, seedless bun that was superfluously oiled (gotta look shiny for all the inevitable instagram-ed burger shots!)  

Chicken - seasoned with herbs.  The seasoning was uneven and some bites of the chicken tasted like nothing.  The size of it overwhelmed the bun.

BBQ sauce - Sweet and a bit on the bold side, sorta like Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ (maybe it even was).  Considering Sweet Baby Ray's is awesome, this made the sandwich much better overall.

Swiss - Not bad, complemented the bbq sauce.

Lettuce/Tomato - average

Bacon - Above average.

Fries - My order overflowed my tray, I'm not sure if it was a normal order or not, but it was a ton. They were really good for a few minutes, but then quickly decided to turn into cardboard. 

I'll maybe try this place one more time, but for $10, I wasn't too impressed. 

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Papi's - Carne Asada Taco and Chicken Tostada

Sometimes it's just fate.  Tacographics was in town and almost died getting in a car accident.  No injuries, but had to get a repair.  Not only did Tacographics have to wait for a long ass period of time (all day basically), but Tacographics' phone had about 10 percent battery in that time.

The good news was there were TONS of white people mexican places within walking distance.  The bad news was I didn't want to waste precious battery looking anything up on yelp.

I stepped in one place and almost ate there, but then decided for whatever reason to step into Papi's with absolutely no idea what to expect.  They had a special - 1 Taco and 1 Tostada for $3.99.  That was impressive, so I checked out the salsa bar before ordering - it was also impressive (no pic whoops).

I ordered the hell out of a carne asada taco and chicken tostada.  They had a choice of black or pinto for beans so I was like hmmm never had a black bean tostada.  

I got a bunch of salsa (two kinds of chunky pico de gallo, one had kick to it) before taking a pic and digging in.

Daaaaamn, the asada taco was great.  The charbroiled asada had great texture and flavor.  One of the best that has been posted on this blog.

The tostada was also excellent - featuring grilled chicken, black beans, lettuce, and jack cheese. A liiiiiittle on the small side, but still a great value.

Overall - Awesome meal. The main reason mexican (real or fake) food is good is almost always because of meat and salsa quality - and this place had both.

 

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 8/10 (no salsa) 9/10 (with salsa)

Togo's - Pastrami Sandwich

Tacographics hadn't been to Togo's before, but was hungry in a shopping area and wanted a sandwich.

Luckily Togo's has daily specials, so it made it easier to decide on the Pastrami (it was on a Monday).

I got the 6 inch with lettuce, mustard, and tomato on wheat.

I'll have to say, it was a good sandwich.  It was thinly shredded pastrami with a good blend of toppings.  You know when you eat pastrami you're bound to have bites of fatty meat that are awful, with this sandwich I only had two.
 
Overall, it kicked Subway's Pastrami sub's ass, and was cheaper (at $4).

 Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Bobby's Place - Spuderito

In between the giant chunk of time I didn't do reviews (the dark ages of Tacographics) - I found myself starving in an area that I did not frequent.  I did not have a smartphone yet, so I didn't have yelp.  I chose Bobby's because it was a hole-in-the-wall and those places tend to be cheap and good.

I saw "Spuderito" on the menu and asked what the hell that is.  The cashier said it's a burrito with fries, cheese, and hot sauce.   I think she also mentioned a "burrito sauce" and said it was "good, you'll like it". She said you can get it customized with lettuce, onions, and tomatoes, and even with beans.

I ended up getting a "Spuderito" with beans, fries, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and burrito sauce for about $3.  It was awesome.  So I went back recently to get a pic and review.

Why was it awesome?  The shredded lettuce and tomatoes?  Nah, it was just shredded lettuce and tomatoes, dude.  The cheese?  The cheese was fresh grated cheese and great, but nah.  The beans?  Nope, they were beans.  Fries? They were medium cut fries, nothing amazing. Tortilla? Lol.

That obviously leaves the burrito sauce as the reason why Tacographics finds this burrito to be delicious.  I have never had a sauce like it - it's red and tomato-y but it isn't some pizza sauce or anything. I actually have no damn idea what it is, but it's perfect. 

Overall, all the ingredients together created a standard-sized burrito that is pretty unique - full of texture and taste but not salty.  TACOGRAPHICS SEAL OF APPROVAL.

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 9.5/10

Taco Bell - Chicken Cantina Burrito

Got a haircut and there was a Taco Bell nearby so I ate.  I wanted something a little lighter...huge sign for the new cantina burrito so I ordered it along with a potato taco.

While I'm completely aware Taco Bell (and really any fast food chain) does a ton of doctoring to get their food to look delicious in menu pictures, this was pretty sad.  The picture of the burrito on the menu looked more like a fresh salad in a tortilla - it looked like what I wanted to eat! Yes!

Cantina Burrito, looks good!

What I ended up eating was just a bunch of mush in a tortilla for about $5. 

I should have known better.  This was probably the worst burrito I've ever had.  A mish-mash of standard Taco Bell ingredients but WITH A TINY SCOOP OF BLACK BEANS OOOH SO UPSCALE.

And while I actually like standard Taco Bell ingredients in other forms (see: other reviews), this I did not.

 

Fat + salt rating: 7/10

 Taste rating: 4/10

Texture rating: Mush/10

Lucky Boy - Bacon Cheeseburger and Fries

Tacographics first real entry since April 2012.  Why?  BECAUSE TACOGRAPHICS, BITCH.

Went to Lucky Boy last night with a friend (thank you internet for making that sentence seem a little awkward). 

It was basically Farmer Boys but with more Mexican food on the menu; and gyros.  AMERICUHN FOOD.

I got a bacon cheeseburger no onions and pickels and fries.

The burger had 1000, LOTS OF SHREDDED LETTUCE, tomatoes, cheddar (it usually comes with american), the burger patty, and LOTS OF CRISPY BACON.

For $4.89, it was a pretty bacon-infused entity.  I would even say it was a blt with a burger patty because the patty was thin and not the dominant texture and flavor.

It was a salty burger blt.  You know how you get that salty dry-mouth sometimes after eating? Got that.

The fries were medium cut, unsalted.

This is a burger for fans of crispy bacon.  Might want to ask for light lettuce if this looks more like a salad between a bun than a MEAT BURGER.

LETTUCE

Fat rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 7/10