Rubio's - Grilled Steak Burrito Especial

Back to Rubio's once more.  If I waited I could have done a Burrito Showdown with  Chipotle's Steak Burrito but sorry, I'm not a Showdown Review machine.

While still big, this was slightly smaller than Chipotle, and about the same taste-wise.  The ingredients were similar - rice, black beans, cheese, pico de gallo - differences being Rubio's adds a little guacamole (mine was mostly buried at the bottom).  The one thing Chipotle could benefit from is what this Rubio's burrito had - a whole wheat tortilla. 

Pro - Slightly healthier

Con - Every time I remember to get it, the tortilla is ripped from failed wrapping.  As a result, burrito control is near impossible and ingredient spillage is a normal occurance.  GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER RUBIO'S, LITERALLY.

The steak wasn't as great as I remembered, and seemed a little skimpy.  I didn't have any problems with fatty pieces, though.  Chips were included, I'm not sure if the amount they gave was one or two servings, but I was surprised how much there were. 

Awesome picture, NOT. This is what happens when you use a camera-phone with no flash

SPARE ME THE HATE MAIL

Fat rating: 7.5/10 (9.5/10 w/ chips)

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Subway - Pastrami Sub

I like pastrami and eat it like once or twice a year.  How about it Subway?  What I didn't know going in was the atrocious amount of fat in this thing, I knew coming in it would be a high salt rating THIS IS SUBWAY AFTERALL. 

The meat had some fat on it but wasn't that chewy.  It was definitely pastrami - salty and a distinct meaty taste - WELL NO SHIT, IT'S MEAT.  I liked how it was sliced thin, every lunch meat ever should be thin - thick sucks ass.

I wouldn't get this again, the swiss was negligable, along with the mustard (pastrami is the only thing I eat mustard with, it works).  Pastrami -  just another thing that tastes good because it's loaded with salt and fat, but ultimately not worth it.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Arby's - Bacon Cheddar Roastburger

Two summers ago, Arby's had one of the most god-tier sandwiches I've ever had.  It was the BBQ Bacon Cheddar Roastburger.  It was everything I like on one sandwich ingredients wise.  Flash forward to now and I get this because they don't have the BBQ version.

Lettuce, tomatoes, roast beef, cheddar and bacon on a soft toasted kaiser (?) bun.  Lettuce was great, shred-y and no detected stems.  Tomatoes were eh, roast beef was Arby's - I like it.  Cheddar disappointed me, I don't remember it being this American-cheese-ish.  Fuck that, I ended up taking off half of it.  Bacon was also great, but it was skimpy as hell.

I ate it with some bbq sauce which tasted well enough, but I miss my BBQ Bacon Roastburger - it had a different bbq sauce and onion strings (along with the ingredients on this one)

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 4/10 (6.5/10 with no cheese)

El Pollo Loco - Chicken Taco Al Carbon and BRC Burrito

El Pollo Loco - more white-washed mexican food.  The taco al carbon is probably the most mexican thing you can get here.  As a white guy, I will not stand for this - so I did my white person duty and got no onions/cilantro, add lettuce. The lettuce reminds me of Taco Bell's, they might be from the same lettuce manufacturer even WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS. 

I added medium salsa to the taco, the mild is too mushy.  Even for me, El Pollo Loco's salsa is laughably tame.  I sometimes mix the medium pico de gallo with the "hot" avocado sauce. 

The chicken is thigh meat and has decent citrus-marinaded flavor.  I wouldn't recommend eating this without salsa, very dry.

Fat rating: 2/10

Salt rating: 3.5/10 (5/10 with salsa)

Taste rating: 4/10 (5.5/10 with salsa)

 Onto the BRC, another one of the dollar menu items.  I was introduced to this in high school, where I was a picky dumbass.  I ate pepperoni pizza pretty much everyday, but once it was sold out and this club was selling BRC's for $2.  I liked it and have gotten them ever since.  They are a great compliment to the al carbon taco.  (Pinto) Beans, Rice, and Cheese in a flour tortilla = very filling for $1.

I would rather eat two or three of these over a Chipotle burrito.  The gooey tortilla is probably the best fast food one on the market, along with the decent beans.  The rice is meh but you can barely even taste it, it's mainly there for texture purposes.  With some chips and salsa (not pictured), this is some good eatin'.

Fat rating: 5/10

 Salt rating: 6.5/10

  Taste rating: 7/10  

Chipotle - Steak Burrito

Went here for dinner with my brother earlier today.  Damn, it was packed.  A lot of people were using the buy one get one free coupon, as was I.  I was gonna get a steak burrito bowl but then decided FUCK IT, I'll just get a burrito.  There was some unexpected spice to the burrito - I'm guessing from the steak.  I'm white. Moving on...   

This will probably be the last time I get steak, as it was full of grisel (lots of chewing and spitting out fatty pieces).  Every other time I've gotten it I've had the same result, I don't know what the deal is with that.  Other ingredients I got were black and pinto beans, rice (cilantro-lime rice is meh), cheese, and their mild tomato salsa.  The salsa was definitely solid, but I find it kinda odd how it has more sodium than the steak on the nutrition facts.

I appreciate Chipotle's fresh ingredients - it's a nice break from the usual stuff I get. However, I don't exactly find their food all that great. Huge, yes, but I prefer many other places.

                                                              Chipotle is for hipsters.

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Del Taco - Crispy Shrimp Taco

Wanted to try this to compare with their fish taco .  The difference between the two is the slight spicy aftertaste and different tortilla (this one has flour).  Both have a cabbage blend and generic tomato salsa.  I'm not a fan of shrimp raw, but fried, hell, I'll eat it.  I'm not sure which I prefer, I do like the kick this one has to it, but at the same time I don't.  It's weird, but of course you'd know I'm weird if you're a Tacographics vet.  By the way, first person who gets a (visible) Tacographics logo tattoo will be my favorite person by default.  I will buy you tacos and maybe other things.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 5.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

CHICKEN TACO SALAD SHOWDOWN - Taco Bell vs. Del Taco

I've been to both of these places countless times, but have not tried these items until NOW.  Let's get down to BUSINESS.  I got no sour cream on both.

Taco Bell's salad was bottom-ed with rice and beans. As I recall the beans had some red sauce on them.  The stem-y taco bell lettuce was ample on this salad (no shit, it's a salad).  The grilled chicken was the salty white meat chicken I've grown accustomed to, along with tomatoes and cheese.  I didn't touch the ranch it came with because it was like liquid fat, and the chips were like a thicker, crappier Tostito's.  Taco Bell's chips are bad.

Fat rating: 4.5/10 (w/ chips, no ranch)

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Del Taco's salad was about a dollar cheaper.  It did not contain any rice (Del Taco is really weird about rice, barely any of their menu items have it), but the other ingredients were similar.  The beans were red sauced, there was less lettuce than the Taco Bell salad (not as stem-y too), the chicken is not white meat but tasty;  a little too salty perhaps.  The tomatoes were standard, but paired with the guacamole sauce it created a good combo.  The salad as you can see was contained in a flour tortilla shell.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

WINNER: DEL TACO

Applebee's- Chicken Wonton Tacos and Asiago Steak

I went here for my birthday since my brother had dumb drumline practice so I had to find somewhere close.  Applebee's is like Chili's obviously, but for the one or two foreign readers, they're American chain restaurants. 

It was Happy Hour so I almost ordered mozzarella sticks before seeing these motherfuckers called wonton tacos.  Seeing as how this is TACOGRAPHICS, I ordered them in an instant.  Wontons - good.  Tacos - great.  Wonton Tacos?  Yes, they were delicious.  Filled mostly with grilled chicken, they were topped with some sort of cabbage mix (or it could have just been cole slaw).  Either way, I would get these again.  I ate most of them and shared the rest. The only thing bad about them was the obvious msg aftertaste. I will write a THINGS THAT CAN FOAD LIST soon enough.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 8.5/10

The asiago peppercorn steak dinner was one of the healthier options on the menu - you know that annoying under 550 calories menu commercial with the douchebag?  Shitty advertisement aside, I've gotten this before.  The main reason was to balance out the void of nutrition in the form of the wonton tacos.  I forgot how damn peppery the steak was, I was expecting pepper obviously, but shit.  Nothing a little A1 can't clean up. The red potatoes it came with were garlic-y and the broccoli was salted for flavor BECAUSE GOD FORBID ANY RESTAURANT NOT USE SALT ON SOMETHING. 

Fat rating: 4.5/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

Red Robin - Whiskey River BBQ Burger

My first burger review because burgers are inferior to tacos.  My brother gets this sort of burger everywhere we go, they usually look really damn good but make you feel horrible afterward from all the grease.  I got the Whisks River BBQ burger with no veggies and no mayo (because veggies on a burger don't make any sense and mayo is plain ICK).

Red Robin rules but I don't go often.  This time was sort of disappointing for some reason, maybe my taste buds were off but the burger didn't seem as godly-savory as usual.  They never put enough bbq sauce on their burgers but I was too lazy to ask for more.  The burger patty seemed like a lower quality than usual, maybe I'm wrong but meh.  It was still tasty, and red robin's fries are the way I like fries - a good amount of potato and not too oily. 

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Chili's - Chicken Enchilada Soup and Santa Fe Chicken Wrap with Loaded Mashed Potatoes

Maybe the longest Tacographics title in this blog's history - a review about my Chili's experience.  I've been going here for about 10 years.  My favorite thing here is the chicken enchilada soup, it's addicting.  I got a bowl with my entree -  it was watered down a little and didn't have enough chicken but was too busy devouring it to care. 

It was topped with cheese, crispy tortilla strips and pico de gallo.  I guess it tastes like a chicken enchilada in soup form?  I'm not really sure, I am sure it's salty - but when looking at nutrition facts it's not that bad in comparision to your average canned soup. What is surprising is the fat content, though (26g in a bowl FUUUCK).  Still, I love this soup, the best I've had (in my limited soup experience).

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 9/10

I tried something new, I got a chicken wrap (no ranch).  I don't know what I was thinking, after the "Sante-Fe" disappointment that was the Rubio's BBQ Corn Nuts Taco. Meh, this was ok.  It had more quantity over quality.  The lettuce sucked ass, it was a sea of stems.  There was also some avocado, tortilla strips, corn, cheese, and tomatoes wrapped in a (I think) tomato-basil tortilla.  Very inconsistent wrap - one bite it would be mostly chicken and crunch from the tortilla strips, next it would be all avocado, etc.

Fat rating: 3.5/10 (no ranch)

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

I got loaded mashed potatoes as a side, creating a very odd pairing. Again, not sure my decision making was on par. I just didn't want fries and these mashed are definitely good. They try hard to not be instant-mashed potatoes with their texture and taste. There's even bits of skin mixed in so maybe they're actually real? The adding of cheese and chopped bacon significantly improved the potatoes (this is a given). I could've done without the green onions, which have no real reason to be there except for decor purposes. Overall a side-dish that I enjoy from Chili's. 

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

The green gives the illusion that this is actually a healthy plate of food

Chronic Taco - Potato Taco

Chronic Taco has some decent fatty tacos because they have solid ingredients minus the meat.  However, the potato taco makes up for the shortcomings - AND...it's fried.  I know right, that's pretty much awesome and amazing and splendid and I'm running out of adjectives to describe fried tacos.  The other fried potato taco I've reviewed is from a Papa Taco's.  It was good but left a lot to be desired.

I can safely say these Chronic Taco's potato tacos are instant Tacographics all-stars.  I got cheese, shredded lettuce, tomato salsa, and guacamole stuffed inside the shell a-top the soft potato filling.

I got home and took a bite - while the shell was a little mushy in some areas (from the ride home) I still entered a tacophoria during/after each bite.  The flavors and textures together - oh god yeah.  I highly recommended these tacos - as they are both awesome and cheap (99 cents with guacamole included).  My suggestion is that you don't take them to-go if you're a fan of fresh crunchiness, though.    

      This awful picture doesn't do them justice - these are AWESOME TACOS. 

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 9.5/10

KFC - Grilled Chicken

I had a 2 piece meal with wedges and corn.  I go to KFC sometimes after the Dentist because it's right there and I'm lazy.  Nearest available = I go.  I haven't tried their grilled chicken so I did.  It was decent for hormone-infused msg spiced chicken breast and thigh meat.  I'm not a big fan of red meat - unlike most people who say white is dry.

TACOGRAPHICS DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY OPINIONS.

The white meat was moist and had a slight seasoning. I'm in no hurry to get it again - this is the 21st century. Bone-in chicken with skin has little worth to me.  Boneless skinless for life.

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6/10