BJ's - Potato Skins and Tortilla Soup/Caesar Soup Combo

Went to BJ's for my brother's birthday.  Got potato skins as an appetizer - they were fried with some cheese and bacon bits inside.  Very standard heavy/oily potato skins.

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 5/10

Taste rating: 6/10

For my entree I had bbq chicken pizza and a soup and salad combo.  The tortilla soup was poured in front of me, which was awkward.  I just stood there and thought about how horrible being a waiter must be while the hipster waiter served me my soup.  The soup was really salty AS TO BE EXPECTED. I don't find the appeal in how salty every goddamn soup has to be.  I mean, I'll eat it and like it, BUT THOSE SALT RATINGS, FUCK.   Just like the potato skins, this was mediocre. 

Fat rating: 2.5/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

 To round out the (meh) meal, the salad had a disproportional amount of dressing.  The first few bites were great, then the rest left a lot to be desired taste wise. The dressing was good, better than what I have at home.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 2.5/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

China Max and Tacos Mexico Double Review

When I see a mall food court, I sorta want to try something from everywhere.  MSG Variety is the spice of life.  China Max has something I've never seen before - where every item is 99 cents each.  So I got a chicken bowl thing.  The rice and chicken teriyaki was meh, but the chicken and broccoli was acceptable.  For 3 bucks it was a good amount of food so I can't complain too much.  

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

Tacos Mexico looked like a pretty boring place, but I tried the potato tacos which were also 99 cents each.  What I ended up getting was two completely bland (small) fried shells with a skimpy amount of slightly peppery potato in them and a handful of lettuce in a box.  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.  Pitiful.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 1.5/10

Taste rating: 1.5/10 

 

The FOAD list

Alright.  I mentioned in one of my now ancient reviews that I would create a FOAD list.  I randomly remembered just now.  There will be no pictures because they would soil this blog with their grotesque-ness.

Let's get it over with.  Google FOAD if you don't know what the acroymn stands for.

FOAD list:

1.  Lettuce stems - Yes. Die-hard Tacographics fans should know by now that I hate lettuce stems in my tacos (or any type of food).  They suck.  Die.

2.  Every fucking restaurant using the adjective "Chipotle" for their food -  Stuff a sock in it with your chipo-shit.

3. Pizza that doesn't have enough pizza sauce on it - If I want cheese sticks I'll order cheese sticks, not a pizza.

4.  MSG aftertaste - Go ahead and use some msg in your food if you want, but holy goddamn.  If I can still taste it hours after consumption, then there's something wrong.  STOP.

5.  Slimy textures in food (grilled onions, etc) - WHY IN THE FUCKING HELL WOULD I WANT THIS SHIT IN MY FOOD ? OH HEY, THIS FOOD TASTES GOOD, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE IT BETTER??? SOME SLIMY TEXTURES .

I'm mad rating: Pissed/10 

LaMonica's - BBQ Chicken Pizza and Garlic roll

I sometimes make dumb decisions, I'll admit when I'm on the spot my decision making can be sketchy.  BBQ chicken is the best kind of pizza (fuckin' deal with it), however, I need to learn not to get it at an NY style place. 

They don't sell bbq chicken by the slice here, some dude ahead of me learned the hard way - they charged him for a whole pizza when he just wanted a slice.  As soon as I heard that I swooped in and asked if I could buy a slice off him, so I did.

The pizza was overwhemed with a meh bbq sauce (was a sweet sauce) and was undercooked, so that kinda wasn't good.  I wouldn't get it again.  Cheese pizza it is next time. 

The garlic roll saved the meal, it helped balance out all the sauce on the pizza. 

Fat rating: 4.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 4.5/10

Happy National Taco Day

Finally a national holiday I can support.

Tacos are awesome rating: ∞/10

LA County Fair - Indian Taco

Went to the Fair for the first time in years.  I was a corn on the cob farmer and a fierce crab. If you have no idea what I'm saying then you probably don't know me.  There was so much food that my head nearly exploded - I WANTED TO REVIEW EVERYTHING.  My lone stomach prevented me from doing that, so I had to pinpoint exactly what I should review.  Seeing how this is TACOGRAPHICS, the choice had to be somewhat unique but ultimately TACO BASED. 

I noticed a huge stand in the distance that said INDIAN TACOS.  I was like WHAT THE FUCK IS AN INDIAN TACO.  Minutes later I was ordering one.  The thing is not really a taco, more like a tostada bottomed with chili.  The other catch is instead of a fried tortilla shell, the base containing the lettuce, cheese, and (southwest-esque) salsa was a fresh gooey pita-type bread.  It had a nice texture and wasn't too light or heavy - thumbs up.

The chili was probably just a Hormel-canned chili with beans or something similar.  Overall, a gimmick-y fair food that I would probably not get again for the mere fact there are tons of other foods to try.  Speaking of gimmicks, I had fried kool-aid for dessert (it tasted like  cherry muffins).  Anyway, if you're still reading, here's the pic of the "Indian taco":

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Osuna's - Asada Sope

Haven't been here before, I got a sope for some reason. 
It was average overall.  All the ingredients were standard, especially the steak.  The lettuce was pretty bad - not fresh and stemcity.  I should have gotten TACOS.  I might try them next time.  I'll go back only because:

the best thing at this place is their mango salsa.  It's basically pico de gallo - with mango bits mixed in ~ very good!  Was "medium" spicy, just tolerable enough for me. 

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

Tastea - Karate Chopped Chicken and BUTTLOAD A'FRIES

Tacographics loves free food.  IF YOU'RE A RESTAURANT MANAGER OR SOMETHING AND READING THIS SHOOT ME AN E-MAIL ME AND I'LL REVIEW YOUR FOOD. I'M AN INSPIRING BIG-SHOT INTERNET FOOD BLOGGER THAT TRANSCENDS THE REALM OF YELP BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT COOL.  JUST IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, YES THIS BLOG IS A GREAT AND FREE WAY TO GAIN EXPOSURE FOR YOUR RESTAURANT, YES I LIKE FOOD (EXCEPT SEAFOOD), NO, I'M NOT SHOUTING, THIS IS JUST HOW I DO THINGS.   

Anyway, I got this food free because my friend (and die-hard TACOGRAPHICS FAN) invited me over for a free INSIDERS ONLY event.  I got my moneys worth TACOGRAPHICS ALWAYS GETS HIS $$$'S WORTH BITCH. 

The "karate chopped" chicken was pretty much the same as this popcorn chicken .  I got the level 2 of spice which was really tame.  If you want insider info - IT'S JUST PAPRIKA.  So basically level 5 has the most paprika - do not go here if you want actual spicy chicken. 

UPDATE: I have been told it is not paprika, but cayenne pepper. 

random fry

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 6/10

I also got BUTTLOAD A'FRIES.  Yes, that's what they're actually called.  If I cashiered here I'd probably die inside every time someone chuckled from reading it off the menu.  Anyway, these were ok. They remind me of those fajita fries I used to eat a lot as a kid.  The fries were mixed with "Tastea dust" which is apparently "super secret".  IT'S MSG.  Secrets revealed only on Tacographics. 

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 6/10

El Loco - Tostada and Shredded Beef Street Taco

Stopped by El Loco because I was in the area.  Cannot believe I have not reviewed this tostada yet, it is one of my fave single food items of all time. TACOGRAPHICS HAS EATEN A LOT OF THESE IN HIS DAY.  This is the best fast food tostada I've had, if anyone can name a better one then TELL ME OR SOMETHING. 

It is bottomed by a fried corn shell with beans, avocado sauce, TOMATOES, shredded lettuce, and cheese.  I CAN EAT ONE OF THESE EVERYDAY BUT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.  This tostada was definitely a main contributor as to why I have developed such a liking of mexican food  IT'S THE BEST.  IT TASTES SO GOOD AND HAS A LOT OF TEXTURES.  AS YOU CAN TELL I'M A PROFESSIONAL FOOD CRITIC.  SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS TOSTADA IS DELICIOUS.  ONLY ISSUE IS HOW MUCH OF A SLOB I LOOK LIKE EVERY TIME I EAT ONE, NAPKINS GODDAMN EVERYWHERE.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 9/10

 

A part of a brand new dollar menu, I opted for a street taco with shredded beef WITH NO ONIONS OR CILANTRO BECAUSE FUCK ONIONS AND CILANTRO I DON'T EVEN CARE.  

DOESN'T LOOK TOO APPETIZING, EH?  WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

 

Before I took a bite, I slammed on some pico de gallo (which is one of the better picos around town).  I had an idea of what to expect since I've had this shredded beef a bunch of times, but I never have recalled it being this moist.  It's really damn good.  There's a very seasoned taste, (probably msg, meh) overall really succulent. The meat was so juicy it saturated the tortillas - makin it a mess to eat (just like the tostada) BUT IT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY TO PLAY THE GAME.

SLAMMED WITH PICO DE GALLO

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 8/10

  

Chipotle - Barbacoa Burrito with Chips and Guacamole

Back to Hipotle (no, not a typo), this time to try some stuff.

The chips were like Acapulco's but less oily.  Sorta salty.  The guac was decent but nothing amazing.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 5/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Onto the barbacoa:

"Spicy, shredded beef, slowly braised for hours in a blend of chipotle pepper adobo, cumin, cloves, garlic and oregano until tender and moist."


I was surprised to find it wasn't very spicy, but definitely tender and moist.  I will be getting this as my default burrito from now on (black/pinto beans, corn salsa, tomato salsa, rice, and cheese).  Only problem was most of the meat was on the bottom, a typical burrito issue if all the meat is distributed to the center.

Fat rating:  7/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating 7/10

Wendy's - Chicken Caesar Wrap and Fries

Hadn't been to Wendy's in a while.  This new wrap was only 99 cents, which was cool.  I'm not sure if it was suppose to come with two pieces of chicken, but that's how much I got (I remember their old wraps only having one).  The dressing was lob-sided and low quality.  Still, I would have liked more.  The thing was pretty dry without it.

The ingredients for a dollar menu item - romaine/iceberg lettuce and the bits of asiago cheese were legit.  However, the chicken was obviously not chicken breast. For 99 cents, I don't expect it to be, so whatevs.

As for the natural cut fries, I hadn't tried them before.  They were definitely good but tasted a bit artificial- especially compared to In-N-Out's fries.  Would still buy again.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Carl's Jr. Chicken Fillet Sandwich

I will commend Carl's Jr. for their effort on this sandwich.  It's probably second to Chick Fil-A in the fast food market -  the chicken was plump and juicy.  If only Carl's Jr. had shredded lettuce, it would really help their chicken sandwiches.  They already go through the effort of hand-breading (which is a factor), might as well get a better textured lettuce to complement the sandwich.

Fat rating: 7.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 8/10 (w/ bbq sauce)