El Loco - Hard Shell Taco

One of the few of my remaining places that I grew up on that I have yet to review.  El Loco is a place I've been to countless times - they have great white people mexican food.  Their tacos have almost always been awesome.  For a stint they were lower quality (greasy shell, dry meat), but they're back for real.

A hard shell taco is what you want to get here (fried shell filled with shredded beef, lettuce, cheese, and tomatoes). I almost always get a taco and tostada when I go (not today).  What I like about this place is the large amounts of everything in the tacos - they don't skimp on cheese or tomatoes. 

The shredded beef was tender and mild but not salty at all.  Like I said before, the ingredients are plentiful, but they're also fresh and delicious.  The fried shell was not too greasy, it's not exactly a light flake-y shell but it's not heavy either.  All I know is these tacos are bonafied Tacographics All-stars.  They may be a little bland for some, but they're near perfect for me.  

Another bad picture

Tacographics sincerely apologizes for not having a better camera and photography taking skills.

Here's a better pic from a couple years ago:

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 5/10

Taste rating: 9/10

Wienerschnitzel - Chili Cheese Fries Burrito

Was hungry and in need of a late snack last week and got this at 1am.  I'm not sure if it hit the spot.  Chili Cheese Fries from here were one of my favorites when I was younger and my diet was crap.  So what happens when you put them in a flour tortilla?

Meh.  Wienerschnitzel is place I don't see myself going to for a long-ass time.  Their chili is basically a sauce.  The fries are meh, like Carl's Jr.'s old fries. 

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

 

AHAH!

Flannel rating: 10/10

Oversized ironic glasses rating: 10/10

TACOGRAPHICS FUCKING TOLD YOU SO RATING: 1,000,000/10

Puffy Taco - Carne Asada Puffy Taco Plate

If you have wondered, the picture on the front page that has made you hungry since Tacographics' inception is from this place.  Puffy motherfucking Taco.  It is definitely out of my DTZ (designated taco zone for those who have forgotten) but my dad wanted to go and I was bored as hell.

There is a standard fare of items here, but c'mon.  You go here for puffy tacos. Period, end of sentence.  They have picadillo beef, chicken, and carne asada ones.  The beef is meh, it's greasy.  The chicken is decent, but you want to get carne asada here.  It's good.  I would say it is probably my favorite - it has a slightly charred texture which contains the juices.  I'm guessing the meat is fried inside the corn tortilla in the puffy taco making process.

Anyway, Puffy Tacos rule.  A fried corn shell containing the meat, lettuce, tomatoes and red salsa.  I will say their salsa is too liquid-y and too onion-y -  both the green and red sauce. Other than that, goddamn.  I would eat here a lot more if it was closer.  The plate also comes with a hefty portion of beans, rice, and chips which are great.  I left full but still wanting more because it's just that good.

Fat rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 9.5/10

Taco Bell - Crunchwrap Supreme

After being bugged, I gave in and tried one.  I got shredded cheese instead of gross nacho cheese, and no sour cream.  This may be another case of Taco Bell gaining favor that they've lost from me over the years.  I'm a fan of mexican food because of all the textures in one bite, and this wrap almost fully delivered.  The grilled tortilla containing beef, cheese, and a tostada shell acting as a barrier for the lettuce and tomato (so they don't get all nasty).  I'm going to get this with beans in it next time, because it is the only texture/flavor missing.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Red Robin - Chicken Teriyaki Sandwich

Failed to mention in my last Red Robin review that it's pretty standard to burn your tongue on a fry or two here. There should be a disclaimer on their menu OUR FRIES WILL STRAIGHT BURN YOUR FATASS MOUTH. 

Moving on to the sandwich, I got no mayo (Why do chicken teriyaki sandwiches come with mayo?  Can someone tell me?  How does that make any fucking sense?!?!) and I think no onion.  The sandwich had shredded lettuce, tomatoes, pineapple, and the teriyaki glaze.  Just like with their Whisky River BBQ Burger, there was not sufficient sauce on the sandwich and I was too lazy to ask for some more.  What was there was great, I liked it a lot.  The chicken was also tasty - the glaze did make the sandwich sloppy to eat, The tomatoes and pineapple have a similar texture and just cancel each other out.  They don't make sense together.  Lettuce was also pretty lost in the mix.  I need to learn that chicken teryiaki is best made with rice and veggies, and not on a boring hamburger bun. 

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

McDonald's Chicken Sandwiches DOUBLE REVIEW

Hadn't stepped in a McDonald's in years, but hey - you give me a buy one get one free sandwich coupon and I'll buy your food - this goes out to any restaurant representative reading this, you want me to buy your food GIVE ME COUPONS, AND NONE OF THAT HAVING TO BUY A DRINK WEAK SHIT. I'M NOT BUYIN' THAT.

Onto the sandwiches.  I got a crispy and grilled version of the ranch club (I think it was called) with no ranch.  The crispy fillet was generic white meat chicken breast.  Not bad but nothing great, at least it's white meat.  The ingredients were surprisingly fresh, I just took off the lettuce though because I've never understood leafy textures in a sandwich and never will.  Yeah it makes things look nice, but food is there to be eaten YOU KNOW.

 I've also not understood bacon on a fried sandwich, but hey, it was solid.  Thin and crispy and not greasy. The swiss was real and worked well with the bacon.  The honey wheat bun containing everything added a sweetness to the sandwich.  Overall a lot of flavors and textures working together to equate to a good sandwich.  Definitely inferior to Chick Fil-A.

Fat rating: 6/10 (no ranch)

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

The grilled version was the same ingredients but with a moderately juicy "homestyle" marinaded grilled chicken breast. It was slightly lemony but more sweet than sour and a hint of pepper.  This would go great with some fries, maybe next time. 

Fat rating: 4/10 (no ranch)

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Taco Nazo - Potato Taco

I got two of these along with my fish taco for the Fish Taco MEGA Review (scroll down to see it if you haven't).  They're a $1 during Happy Hour.

Simple taco, a fried shell filled with potato and topped with the same ingredients as a fish taco (cabbage, white sauce, pico de gallo).  The potato was skimpy which kinda sucked, and this thing was greasy (well duh, it's fried).  Just like the fish taco, it was a mess to eat.  I guess Taco Nazo is too lazy to actually put fillings INSIDE the taco, like other potato tacos I've had. 

Tl;dr - It had a very similar taste and texture to the fish taco - with the addition of crunch from the shell and subtraction of fishy taste. 

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 4/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Fish Tacos - MEGA REVIEW

How did I spend my spring break?  Well, I had more fish tacos than I'll ever have in the rest of my life.  What have I learned from all this?  I'm not a fish taco guy, period end of sentance. 

El Pollo Loco - Baja Fish Taco:

My first fish taco was the advertised one from El Pollo Loco.  They got rid of steak but brought in this?  I can't remember what exactly the commercial stated, but I recall it saying these are "bursting with flavor".  More like bursting with NOTHING.  These fish tacos literally had no taste, I couldn't believe it.  The cabbage - nothing, cilantro - nothing, sauce - nothing, the fish - nothing, and the tortilla (which overwhelmed hints of anything with a resemblance of taste) - nothing.  On the bright side, at least the texture was ok and I now know what eating something without taste buds must feel like.

Fat rating: 4/10

Salt rating: 2.0/10

Taste rating: 1/10

Rubio's - World Famous Fish Taco 

Went here on Tuesday and brought them home.  Worst mistake I've made.  The tacos came out mushy from the slathered on white sauce.  Only the edges remained slightly crisp - what was left was one flour and one corn mush taco.  From what I could eat, these had decent flavor from the sauces (white and mild salsa)  The fish fillet was elongated and full of fishy goodness.  No, fish is not good. It sucks.   

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 4/10

Taste rating: 4.5/10

Taco Nazo - Taco de Pescado

Today I went here to round out the local places.  These were the cheapest (at regular price) at $1.69.  The first thing you'll notice is, damn, they do look a lot better than the previous two.  They taste slightly better as well.  The fish fillet is rectang-lish, so you have to fold it to one side of the tortilla before taking a bite.  This made it a bitch to eat, the sauce is messy as hell.  The shreddy cabbage was the best out of the three places - I liked the texture of it the most.  The pico de gallo didn't add much flavor.

After eating most of this taco, it dawned on me - Del Taco makes the only fish taco I'll probably ever get again.  I'm just not a fan of fish, like I said earlier - it sucks.  At least with Del Taco I don't recall it being messy or having an overwhelming amount of smelly-ass fish in each bite.

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 4/10

Tast rating: 5.0/10

Rubio's - Grilled Steak Burrito Especial

Back to Rubio's once more.  If I waited I could have done a Burrito Showdown with  Chipotle's Steak Burrito but sorry, I'm not a Showdown Review machine.

While still big, this was slightly smaller than Chipotle, and about the same taste-wise.  The ingredients were similar - rice, black beans, cheese, pico de gallo - differences being Rubio's adds a little guacamole (mine was mostly buried at the bottom).  The one thing Chipotle could benefit from is what this Rubio's burrito had - a whole wheat tortilla. 

Pro - Slightly healthier

Con - Every time I remember to get it, the tortilla is ripped from failed wrapping.  As a result, burrito control is near impossible and ingredient spillage is a normal occurance.  GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER RUBIO'S, LITERALLY.

The steak wasn't as great as I remembered, and seemed a little skimpy.  I didn't have any problems with fatty pieces, though.  Chips were included, I'm not sure if the amount they gave was one or two servings, but I was surprised how much there were. 

Awesome picture, NOT. This is what happens when you use a camera-phone with no flash

SPARE ME THE HATE MAIL

Fat rating: 7.5/10 (9.5/10 w/ chips)

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Subway - Pastrami Sub

I like pastrami and eat it like once or twice a year.  How about it Subway?  What I didn't know going in was the atrocious amount of fat in this thing, I knew coming in it would be a high salt rating THIS IS SUBWAY AFTERALL. 

The meat had some fat on it but wasn't that chewy.  It was definitely pastrami - salty and a distinct meaty taste - WELL NO SHIT, IT'S MEAT.  I liked how it was sliced thin, every lunch meat ever should be thin - thick sucks ass.

I wouldn't get this again, the swiss was negligable, along with the mustard (pastrami is the only thing I eat mustard with, it works).  Pastrami -  just another thing that tastes good because it's loaded with salt and fat, but ultimately not worth it.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Arby's - Bacon Cheddar Roastburger

Two summers ago, Arby's had one of the most god-tier sandwiches I've ever had.  It was the BBQ Bacon Cheddar Roastburger.  It was everything I like on one sandwich ingredients wise.  Flash forward to now and I get this because they don't have the BBQ version.

Lettuce, tomatoes, roast beef, cheddar and bacon on a soft toasted kaiser (?) bun.  Lettuce was great, shred-y and no detected stems.  Tomatoes were eh, roast beef was Arby's - I like it.  Cheddar disappointed me, I don't remember it being this American-cheese-ish.  Fuck that, I ended up taking off half of it.  Bacon was also great, but it was skimpy as hell.

I ate it with some bbq sauce which tasted well enough, but I miss my BBQ Bacon Roastburger - it had a different bbq sauce and onion strings (along with the ingredients on this one)

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 4/10 (6.5/10 with no cheese)