Dolphin Bay Cafe - Popcorn Chicken

Back the fuck up, Tacographics is getting ethnic on all your asses.  First Indian and now Taiwanese.  I was
dragged against my will whilst throwing several temper tantrums  brought here by my new friend who wanted to go for dinner after lunch at Rubio's.

When I first looked in the box, I thought "this is a lot of food".  The standard sticky rice was topped with some minced pork (which was salty but not bad, minced anything has better texture) and the fried chicken bites.  There was also a little of this nasty sour stuff on the side and basil.

 I am not a chef, but a spice on the dark meat chicken seemed to be paprika?  The main flavor was that with a thin peppery taste.  It's near impossible to screw up fried chicken and this was good, albeit greasy and msg-y.

The sides were green beans? with carrots, and sweet and sour pork?  The question marks indicate that Tacographics is confused and out of his comfort zone.  Anyway, I didn't mind the green beans and like carrots - they were cooked well and salted. The sweet and sour pork I didn't really like - I'm not a fan of sweet side dishes in general. 

Overall, this was very filling like Curry Up.  I got two meals out of it.

Fat rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Rubio's - Chicken Tortilla Soup

Compared to Baja Fresh's soup, Rubio's has a less tomato-y broth - in favor of a more chicken soupish broth.  The ingredients are also more rounded than that of their rival.  It was pretty chunky - filled with rice, cheese, salsa (Rubio's needs to have this salsa available in their salsa bar), avocado, grilled chicken, and chips.  There was also a lime.  In a SOUP SHOWDOWN, this would have beat Baja Fresh easily just for the fact that there are no noticeable onions. 

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 8/10

Curry Up - Chicken Curry/Chicken Tikka Masala Chicken Bowl and Garlic Naan

Tacographics goes where no review has dared to enter - to the land of a casual Indian fast food restaurant. I was here a couple years ago and and my first bite flashed me back since it's the only curry I've eaten. 

The guy nickel and dimed me by charging for two different meats even though it's the same amount regardless if I got 5 meats.  Then afterward when he saw me and my friend taking pictures he started pouring on the good customer service like a true two-face (because he knew we were doing reviews).

The food was decent.  I can't tell if I like the curry (brown) or the tikka masala more (pinkish).  I really don't know how to describe the taste aside from msg, herbs and spices with heaps of sauce.  The curry seemed to be made with a better cut chicken and had a better texture. 

Bottomed with yellow rice (which was salty), this was a really filling entree.

Fat rating: 4/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Onto the naan.  For the record I LOVE NAAN IT COMPLETELY DESTROYS BREAD I ALWAYS USE IT FOR SANDWICHES. I got a side of the garlic kind. It was fresh, warm, and gooey but I really couldn't taste any garlic. 

Fat rating 4/10

Salt rating: 5/10

Taste rating 5/10

Carl's Jr. - Six Dollar Western Cheese Burger and Criss Cut Fries

Hadn't had a Six Dollar Burger here in years, I got one with basically my favorite burger ingredients - meat, bacon, bbq sauce, and crispy onions (they were technically onion rings yeah same concept).  The only thing missing was cheddar because Carl's Jr. only has american cheese.  My synopsis of american cheese.

The burger was decent, definitely near the quality of some restaurant burgers but not quite.  It wasn't greasy but c'mon - the ingredients are still ALL either fatty or salty.  At about 1000 calories, this may be the single most calorically dense single item Tacographics has eaten.  The bacon flavor with a hint of bbq sauce (could've used a little more) and crunch from the onion rings made the burger patty a secondary flavor source and more for texture.

The criss-cut fries I've also hadn't had in a long time, and damn, they're ridiculous - basically a KFC potato wedge in a crunchier form.  With ketchup it was unfair, these were borderline awesome.  Overall, I couldn't eat all of them because the order was HUGE.  I'd definitely need someone to share them with if I ever decide to get them again. 

As a whole, this meal made me feel horrible the rest of the day - headache, dry-mouth, etc.  The sheer amount of fat and salt has set a new standard of fat-assery.  I try not to eat a whole day's worth of calories in one meal because I usually feel like I'm dying for hours. 

Fat rating: I need a cardiologist/10

Salt rating: 9.5/10

Taste rating: 8/10 (burger - 7/10, fries 9/10)

How to be a Chef - Tacographics Style

If you've ever wondered "This tacographics guy is a review wizard, but does he know how to cook?  Time to answer that with a resounding "SORT OF".

On Friday I got Broccoli and Cheese soup from Subway. 
IT WAS HOT AS TO BE EXPECTED.  It burned my tongue.  It was also waaay too watery and too salty.  So.  I brought it home and did something to amp up the chunkiness and lower the salt rating.

Steps:

Microwave a potato for 4 minutes

With 1:30 left, but in some chopped carrots

With :30 left, but in some broccoli

Cut potato into chunks - It will be HOT USE CAUTION.

Put chunks of potato and carrots, as well as broccoli into now lukewarm soup (that has been sitting out, DO NOT MICROWAVE THE SOUP LET IT COOL DOWN).

Result: a chunky, less salty, and warm soup.  Wasn't exactly an awesome soup, but filling.

Fat rating: 5.5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6/10

Del Taco - Big Fat Crispy Bacon Ranch Chicken Taco

Not enough nouns and adjectives in this menu item THERE DEFINITELY NEEDS FIVE MORE.  Del Taco continues to give free coupons - I get free food, and more reviews.  No, Tacographics  does not get any other additional benefits from this chain, but hell, they should give me FREE DEL TACO FOR LIFE JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT. 
This BIG FAT taco is reminiscent of the Bacon Club Chalupa from Taco Bell. Not exactly the same ingredients, but both are really good. 

Pros:

- Lives up to the BIG FAT name - loaded with ingredients
- Lots of crispy bacon bits
- Surprisingly not greasy

Neutral:

- Ranch doesn't get in the way but doesn't add much either
- Bacon flavor a bit overwhelming

Cons:

- Not white meat chicken strips
- Texture of the bacon with the other textures is kinda awkward for a couple bites

Fat rating:  6.5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10