El Pollo Loco - Carne Asada Plate

Finally got around to trying this, the plate came with tortillas (I got corn), rice, beans (I got bbq black beans), lettuce, pico de gallo, and of course the STEAK.

The STEAK was void of grisel but was a tiny bit on the chewy side.  Definitely better than Baja Fresh's carne asada.  Overall, the flavor came from (I think) a citrus marinade and from being (I think) fire-grilled.

Speaking of grills, I've heard grilling takes off years of your life because you inhale carbon dioxide or something, kinda shitty.  I've also heard that the grill marks on food have a similar effect, they're not good for the body.  Don't know how valid these claims are, but meh.    BACK TO FOOD.

El Pollo Loco's rice is meh compared to competitiors, the bbq beans are a nice break from regular black beans, but as with the steak, seem to be a little on the salty side.  Lettuce was like Taco Bell's, iceberg and full of stems but tolerable, and the pico de gallo here is solid.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Tacos Don Chente - Gordita

Yesterday I had gay-ass jury summons in Norwalk, which is easily out of my Designated Taco Zone (DTZ).  After getting out, I walked over to this taco place to try.  Even if it was the greatest mexican food ever I don't think I would be making any special trips.

The decor and glossy pictures of the food made it seem like an Americanized place, but the menu was in Spanish and I didn't undertstand the majority of it (had a bunch of terms I've never seen before.)  After scanning over the menu I decided on a carne asada gordita.

The salsa bar had an array of shit, I got the mild salsa (which was like Juan Pollo's but without carrots) and hot avocado sauce (which was like El Pollo Loco's).  

When I got my gordita I was a little surprised, I thought it would be in a taco shape but it was not.  It was carne asada with pico de gallo, lettuce, a dab of guac, and cojita cheese in between two fried double-thick corn tortillas, like a sandwich.

The shredded carne asada had a slight kick,  but I was disappointed with the pico de gallo.  It had peppers in it like Denny's pico, so there was a slight green pepper aftertaste at times.  The guacamole was not noticeable, and the cojita cheese was also...there.  As for the tortillas, they were really doughy/heavy.  The bottom one was greasy as fuck, but the top one wasn't which was puzzling.  If I have to go back to jury duty, I'll go back here, but get something else.

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

 

Acapulco - Carne Asada Plate

Back to Acapulco, this time with better results.  Since my family used coupons I got the Carne Asada plate which was $17.  I can probably eat two days of food for that price but I didn't pay for it so NO CARE EVER. 

I was about to get fajitas but saw this at the last second.  It's rare that I order something as is (no substitutions).  It's the steak with a cheese enchilada, guacamole, and side of rice and beans.
The charbroiled carne asada was so damn good.  The amount of flavor was literally a joke.  I ate half of it and there was only a small piece of fat.  The cheese enchilada was pretty standard but it is a good pairing.  As with their chips and salsa, Acapulco's guacamole rules. This meal overall ruled and I still have half of it left. Too bad I got a pretty bad case of dry-mouth from how salty it was.  If you can notice the picture quality is a lot better because I borrowed my mom's camera since I left my phone at home.  9.1 mp instead of 1.3.  IT'S A SIGHT TO SEE.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 10/10

Taste rating: 9.5/10

Taco Bell - Double Decker and Chicken Enchilada Burrito

I am fully aware that Taco Bell's food does not look appetizing at all.  My love affair with the food ended awhile ago.  One of my taco mistresses was the Double Decker, which I've mentioned before.  I finally went to a Taco Bell not on campus a few days ago after my internship.  I got the taco shielded by a flour tortilla and kept together with a bean adhesive.  It was devoured as usual, for some reason they never get old.  It has a plethora of tastes/textures in one bite: chewy, crunchy, smooth, crisp, salty, meaty. 

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 7/10

The chicken enchilada burrito is something I remember really liking back a few years ago.  It's different but not really - a chicken grilled stuft burrito with red sauce instead of pico de gallo and sour cream instead of the jalapeño sauce.  Of course I got no sour cream, shit is nasty.  The burrito was very good.  The mild red sauce was light and gave a great flavor to the burrito.  It complemented the cheese and rice well.  Easily one of, if not the best Taco Bell gimmick.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 7/10

WaBa Grill - Steak/Chicken Plate

WaBa is very modern looking place with bright colors and the word "healthy" everywhere.  I go once in awhile if me and my brother need a break from Del Taco, it's a nice 180. 

I got a combo plate which included a heafty portion of rice, steak, and chicken, a side salad, and a piece of an orange.  The dressing was oriental, I assumed it was healthy until looking at the site's nutrition facts a few minutes ago... 26 grams of goddamn fat and a shitton of sodium.   NICE DECEPTION WABA.  SO HEALTHY. 

The meats were grilled and topped with "WaBa sauce" (teriyaki sauce) which was enjoyable.  The thin chopped steak was leanish and didn't have grisel.  One piece had two tiny bones in it though, the hell.  The chicken was skinless, and like the steak, was pleasant tasting.  I got two meals out the whole thing.

Fat rating: 6.5/10 (not a typo)

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10

Baja Fresh - Steak Taco Combo and Chicken Tortilla Soup

I rarely go here because it's a little out of the way and has a bad location.  I dropped my brother off at his friend's and went to get some tacos.  The menu was overwhelming, took a few minutes before I decided on a steak taco combo and chicken tortilla soup.

After I ordered I got chips (always good when places give chips before a meal) and headed toward the salsa bar.  While Rubio's (competitor) has smooth sauces, Baja Fresh has a plethora of both chunky (mild) and smooth (medium-hot) sauces.  It's pretty damn impressive, especially the PINEAPPLE SALSA (far left of pic). I got that and the mild salsa, which was mainly tomatoes (far right).  It reminds me of El Loco's salsa (a local place, will review sometime).  Pretty much this is how salsa should be done.

The chicken tortilla soup was pretty hot temperature wise, as to be expected.  The main flavor was from the tomato broth, it tastes like it looks pretty much.  The grilled white meat chicken in the soup was tender from being marinated in the broth.  There were also pieces of avocado, cheese, tortilla strips (which were basically melted), and basil/onions.  I would have probably not mind the onions but they were still crunchy which created problems.  Oh, and the soup was the saltiest thing I've tasted in awhile.

Fat rating: 2/10

Salt rating: 10/10

Taste rating: 8/10

Onto the food, the steak tacos were quality, using shredded romaine instead of iceberg lettuce, cheese, and tomatoes on flour tortillas. The steak had a little of that green sauce pictured from the bar above which helped. Some of the steak not covered in the sauce had a generic steak taste, which was meh. Other than that, this is quality Tacographics material. The black beans and rice were literally identical to Rubio's, but when combined with chips and pineapple salsa, it created a unique flavor that I've not been accustomed too. It's mmmmmm though, sweet and salty is a great combo usually.

 

Fat rating: 4.5/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Denny's - Crispy Chicken Burrito

I bet I piss Denny's cooks off with all my custom orders (dealwithit.gif), I got a chicken burrito with crispy chicken strips instead of the standard grilled.  No pico de gallo (too onion-y) and no ranch (32 GRAMS OF FAT IN A SERVING, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME DENNY'S). 

What was in it was pepperjack (only worthwhile cheese at this place), avocado (wasn't fresh), and two chicken strips.  I don't know why I decided to punish my body with this thing, it was obviously a taste explosion, but at the same time wasn't worth the heartburn and feeling terrible the rest of the day.

The main flavor was pepper, combining peppery chicken strips with pepperjack was overkill, the always-mild avocado fruit (it's a fruit right?) helped, even though it wasn't ripe. The pic isn't exactly appetizing, I know. 

Fat rating: 9/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Subway Chicken Marinara

Saw a commercial for this just now and it reminded me I needed to review it.  I had it on Tuesday after finals.  I got a six inch on 9 grain wheat, the ingredients were just chicken, sauce, and swiss then toasted.

The flavor of the sauce was decent.  It was a little chunky, I prefer smooth marinara sauce without clumps but whatever.  The majority of it was on one side of the sandwich which kind of sucked because it masked the rubbery chicken taste.  The texture of the whole sandwich was without flaw, but the chicken was clearly filler, at least 2/3 of it.  Subway has shitty chicken with artifical grill marks, fuck that. I would probably not get this again despite it being somewhat tasty.  It was one of the messiest things I've eaten, salty, and didn't put a dent in my MANLY HUNGER CRAVINGS.

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Taco Bell Steak MEGA REVIEW

My second MEGA REVIEW, this one will be about 3 steak products from Taco Bell.  As I've stated, I'm not a big fan of the steak in one of my TB reviews, but it's ok once in a while as a break from chicken gorditas.

First the steak taquitos, these were pretty boring.  I'm not a big fan of taquitos and quesadillas because they're just lacking in the texture department.  Melted cheese and meat in a tortilla can only take you so far. 

Fat rating 5/10

Salt rating 7/10

Taste rating 5.5/10

Next, the grilled stuft burrito.  My chicken grilled stuft burrito sucked, but this was better.  It still wasn't "stuft" but had enough to be filling.  The pico de gallo at Taco Bell sucks, onions everywhere.  The texture of onions is god-awful in burritos.  You have mushy textures and all of a sudden you have the crunch of the onion which sucks ass.  Other than that it's rice and beans with cheese and steak, no sauce ever.  As with most burritos, it was fucking salty.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 6/10

No mention of the steak so far, yeah I'm aware.  For the steak taco, though, it was easiest to taste because there were no other dominant flavors.  The meat just reminds me of beef jerky but moist.  It's not exactly bad, just not real steak.  I mean, it's not like their ground beef is quality either, but I eat it because it's cheap and convenient, two key aspects of my eating decision making.

This taco had the most lettuce I've seen since Rubio's, stems have always been a pain in the ass whilst eating tacos, they will never be conquered. As you can see there is a stack of them on the right.  Fuck them.

Fat rating: 4/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 5.5/10

Denny's Chicken Sandwich

No, this is not on the menu.  For some reason this Denny's does not have chicken sandwiches, which is stupid.  So anyway.  I bought a cheeseburger, substituted the chicken, got pepperjack instead of american (I MOTHERFUCKING HATE AMERICAN CHEESE IT CAN FUCK OFF), and added bacon. 
This sandwich was sort of nostalgic, I made something similar where I worked and it tasted similar as well.  This was probably better quality and quantity wise though, probably because of the salt and grease Denny's piles on in their food.
The chicken was grilled and had some of those grill patches you get from grilling chicken over a greasy area. With the pepperjack and bacon, along with the shredded lettuce and tomato, the first bite was like damn. From every bite after that though, things went a little downhill.  To be expected thanks to the concept of marginal benefit but meh.  I'll probably get this once in awhile

Fat rating: 5.510

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Elephant Bar - 3 Course Meal

Have to wake up early tomorrow for my internship and have to study but I'm writing a review for a place I went today.  If you know me and have seen that pic of me with my family (the one where I look MAD AS HELL), it was taken at this place on my mom's b-day about six months ago. 

Onto the review, I got a 3 course meal that came with a standard salad (with low-fat ranch because I'm NOT obese).  It didn't even have croutons but I dealt with it, no pic taken.  The entree was crispy teriyaki chicken with no veggies (not a fan of peppers fuck them etc.),  and a huge side of brown rice.  A pet peeve is when people bawww how white meat chicken is "too dry" because it's lean meat, of course it's not going to be oozing with grease.  But in this case, the chicken was dry.  Dipping it in the teriyaki sauce solved the problem.  The  chicken without the sauce was slightly crisp with a light sweet marinade. The brown rice wasn't of the sticky variety but still acceptable. 

Fat rating: 2/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Onto the third course, which was a brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream.  This was goddamn not-even-funny good.  My favorite dessert is definitely warm brownies with ice cream, and this was god-tier.  While the brownie wasn't that warm, it didn't matter.  Along with the vanilla ice cream and whipped cream, I devoured this in a couple minutes.  Oh, and there were oreo crumbs on it.

Fat rating: 6.5/10

Sugar rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 9.5/10

Today at work

I heard Denny's uses lard in their fryer to fry shit.  That is pretty disgusting, wonder if that's something a lot of places do.  I know where I worked used a canola/cottonseed oil blend, no lard of any kind.

But yeah, more reviews on the horizon, been busy and have finals on Tuesday.

Papa Tacos - Asada, Chicken, and Potato Taco

Last time I was at Juan Pollo I noticed there was a taco place right across the street.  I looked on yelp for it but couldn't find any trace of the place.  It peaked my interest, so last night I went there before a concert.  The place was really small, and had menu similar to Chipotle.  I got:

Asada taco - The asada was definitely better than Chronic Tacos but the taco itself was small.  The pico de gallo was onion based but I didn't have an issue with it.  There was an ample amount of shredded white cheese.

Chicken taco - Decent chicken, had a very subtle lime/chile flavor.  Same ingredients as the asada.  Pico and cheese.

Potato taco - More expensive than Chronic Taco's potato taco (I'll review it sometime), and not as good.  Cheese was put on the bottom, along with pico and topped with fresh shredded lettuce.

Final verdict: Everything seemed to be in order.  Decent tacos, around $5 for the meal.  But it left me unsatisfied and still hungry.  So I went over to Juan Pollo and got some of these. 

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Chicken Strips and Fries MEGA REVIEW

Over the past month I've probably eaten more chicken strips than I have in the past two years.  I used to eat them all the time as a kid, and that's not something I'm happy about.  For this review I will compare Denny's, KFC, Arby's, Carl's Jr. Chicken Strips and fries.  Also I will mention the sauce used.

Denny's - $6 got me 3 strips and fries.  They're small hand-breaded (I think) tenders and are pretty (wait for it) generic.  Don't ask me why, but the Denny's doesn't have BBQ sauce for ANYTHING on the menu.  Goddamn bullshit, so I used ketchup.  The fries were ridged and had enough potato for them to be enjoyable, were also salted. 

Grease rating: 9/10

Salt rating: 8.5/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10

 

Arby's - Had these when I did my other Arby's review.  They are bigger compared to the competition, but seem to be pre-made strips.  As with Denny's, there is a slight peppery taste.  Arby's bbq sauce is dark and bold tasting, and complements the strips.  I already reviewed the curly fries, too lazy to talk about them again.

Grease rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 7.5/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10

KFC - Eating KFC is something I try not to do often, as it is deliciously horrible (the secret recipe is msg, just sayin').  The strips are plump hormone-infused, breaded chicken breasts.  They're delicious but greasy as fuck, same goes for the potato wedges.  The honey bbq sauce is decent but not the best honey bbq by a longshot.  

Grease rating: 10/10

Salt rating: 9/10

Taste rating: 8.5/10

Carl's Jr. - The newly advertised chicken tenders are definitely fuckin' tasty but they're small and pretty greasy.  The lack of peppery taste is made up for by the bbq sauce, which is thick and has a kick to it.  

The fries are boring, they have a little skin on them and are lightly salted but are too skinny to warant me eating them again.   

Grease rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 8/10

Taste rating: 8/10

 

Acapulco - 3 Item Combo

Continuing on with the mexican food for white people reviews, I went to Acapulco with my family on Sunday.  This place is hit or miss with their food, depending on what you get.  One constant is everything looks goddamn delicious when you walk by people's tables.  The presentation of the food creates high expectations.  The menu is pretty decent and usually has a special or two that I think about but never get.  For this review I got a 3 item combo.  1 chicken soft taco, 1 shredded beef taco, and a shredded beef enchilada. 

Chicken taco - chicken is meh; it's shredded.  Lettuce, cheese, tomatoes on a flour tortilla.  Not great but it's still a taco DAMMIT.  The lettuce was bad, not fresh, just no thanks. 

Shredded beef taco - Just when I thought the lettuce couldn't get any gunkier, UGH FUCK.  It ruined the overall texture of the thing, I had to do some lettuce gunk removal half way through eating it, GOIN' IN DEEP.  The shredded beef is a little spicy and had some fat on it,  my brother was bitching about his having a lot.

Shredded beef enchilada - Same meat as the taco, just in a different entity.  They're decent 'chiladas, with mild red sauce.  Meat is just a crap-shoot though, hope you get a lean batch.

Beans/rice - These alone are great, but after looking at the nutrition facts it is obvious why.  SALT UP THE FUCKIN' ASS.

Chips/salsa - Another highlight of this restaurant.  The salted chips were meh today but usually great.  The salsa would be perfect if it was chunkier, the overall taste is godly.  It's mild white people salsa but I'm white SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 10/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Origin of the name Tacographics

Tacographics is a term I invented which basically means the target audience (demographic, psychographic) of this blog is: 18-34 male/female, frugal/make low wages, intelligent/witty, introverted, and enjoy tacos/mexican food/other foods.

IT'S AN INSIDE JOKE BETWEEN ME AND A SMALL COLLECTIVE OF INTERNET ACQUAINTANCES/FRIENDS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
YES I USE A LOT OF BACKSLASHES DEAL/WITH/IT

Del Taco Fish Taco

Something I have never dared to eat has been a fish taco because, well, I am not fan of fish or cabbage or sauce. People have told me they love them and suggest I give them a shot.  So I did, and I can safely say they are something I would have again.

Separately, I have no use for the core of the taco (fish, sauce, cabbage), but together, along with the pico de gallo, the flavors and textures are enjoyable.  I didn't even touch the lime because the tacos were already full of flavor.  I usually hate sauce on tacos because not only is it superfluous most of the time, but it creates a mess.  Only the latter rings for true for the white sauce on these tacos, without it they would be a little dry.  In conclusion, I welcome the fish taco universe to my palate and readers (all two of you) can expect future fish taco reviews.

Fat rating: 4/10

Salt rating: 4/10

Taste rating: 7/10

GODDAMN TACO WIZARDRY

I have not reviewed Double Deckers from Taco Bell because they don't have them at my school's Taco Bell Express.  So I went to Del Taco, and did something I should have done a long ass time ago.  For the grand total of 68 cents (plus tax), I fuckin' made one myself.  Behold, the fusion of a crunchy taco and a soft taco with beans instead of beef:

BACK THE FUCK UP

New York Pizzeria Cheese Pizza

I had one of my birthday's here when I was a kid. Only reason I went was because my dad wanted some.  It's greasy, but aside from that it's definitely... PIZZA.  The best part is the crust, it's light and crispy, not some shit pizza that falls apart.    The cheese to sauce ratio was good, the pizza looks red-ish because of it.  I don't know what else to say HERE'S THE PICTURE OF THE PIZZA 

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

Denny's Mozzarella Sticks

For $4, I got a 5 piece.  I would buy these more often if they let you buy 2 or 3, but nope.  I don't understand how anyone can actually eat these as a meal, I got them with a fruit cup for balance.  The sticks are pretty decent, both in size and taste.  The marinara it came with is very generic (welcome to Denny's) but not bad.  In a nutshell:  Cheese = good, fried cheese = very good, fried cheese dipped in pizza sauce = mmmmmm.  If I get these again I'll take them home and eat them with some plain whole wheat pasta cause I'm healthy as shit.

Fat rating: 7/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10

Tacos on Campus

Not all tacos are created equally, sadly.  On Thursday I finally met up with a super c00l friend (and fellow taco lover) at uhour to have lunch (or in my case breakfast, woke up at 11am).  The line was pretty long and didn't seem to move for minutes at a time.  It was probably the longest I've ever waited for a taco (I have not tried Kogi or any of those food trucks though), and I would have never waited if I was by myself.  When we finally got our tacos, I got no onions or cilantro but got some LIMES.

For 3 bucks I got 3 tacos and a water.  I would have paid another dollar for some salsa and cheese, but they were n/a.  Without those ingredients, these tacos were about as bland as you can get.  The limes added a little to to the slightly marinated/decent carne asada but could not save them from being low tier. 

Fat rating: 3/10

Salt rating: 3/10

Taste rating: 3.5/10

Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich and Curly Fries

Aside from Taco Bell, I ate a lot of Arby's as a kid.  The greatest thing in the world was called "The Ultimate Combo".  It included a Roast Beef sandwich, 2 chicken strips, and curly fries with a drink.  Shit was so ca$h. I would do chores or something and get rewarded with it.  Flash forward about 10 years and my dad randomly brings home Arby's last friday.  I basically had all the ingredients of the combo, but I'll review the chicken strips and compare them to Denny's and Carls Jr.'s new ones later. 
So, the roast beef sandwich is good for what it is.  Yes, I know that it's not exactly genuwine roast beef, yes the bun is generic white bread.  But with curly fries and some ketchup, I'll take it once in awhile.

Fat rating: 4/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

As for the curly fries, they're goddamn greasy.  I loved them when I was a kid and still like them (pretty much with all fries), but yeah.  As I already stated, these complement the roast beef sandwich well. 

Fat rating: 8/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

 

Juan Pollo Chicken Tacos (Hard Shell)

A place I always go when I'm in the area is Juan Pollo. For less than 3 bucks I get two tacos with a side of mild salsa and a side of pinto beans.  The tacos are filled nearly to the top with shredded chicken, a little lettuce, some cheese, and a tomato wedge.  The amount of chicken leaves the other ingredients overflowing, which is nice.

The chicken isn't exactly amazing but for the price you can't expect it to be.  It's still pretty good, especially combined with the other ingredients in one bite.  The mild salsa is definitely mild, probably as mild as humanly possible.  Made mostly of tomatoes, there are also bits of carrots which is not something I see often. Quality salsa.  The tacos aren't salty, but the beans sort of were.  Overall, when I leave this place I leave satisfied. 

BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY NEED TO SEE THESE IN ANOTHER ANGLE

Fat rating: 3.5/10

Salt rating: 5/10

Taste rating: 7.5/10

Del Taco Shredded Beef Burrito

Probably the most expensive item I buy at Del Taco, the shredded beef burrito is $2.59.  I got it with no green sauce (I might try it with it sometime).  It has a light amount of beans, cheese, and is composed mostly of the shredded beef.  Since anything with meat is automatically the determining factor in a review, I'll talk about it.  It's my preferred style of meat over carne asada most of the time because it's more consistent.  It's usually more tender, has a better texture and combined with beans = excellent.

The burrito is small, to be expected.  I've gotten big shredded beef burritos at local places before at about $6.  You pay for what you get.  Pretty much it costs about $5 to get full at a chain taco place, and about $6 or $7 at local places because they have higher costs. GETTING BACK ON TOPIC, the only con about this burrito is it is pretty dry.  I used a little hot sauce on it which helped.

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating 7/10

Rountable Garlic Parmesean Twists

Went back to Round Table to hopefully make amends for their sub-standard 'zza.  This time I got the garlic twists.  I have never bought them a la carte because they're almost $4, but today was the day.  They're a little smaller than I remember, but also taste better.  Looking at the nutrition facts was pretty surprising, 3 of these shits have 16g of fat and over half a day's worth of sodium NOT including the rustic sauce (I'm assuming). 

Needless to say, the high fat + sodium combo makes for a delicious breads--- wait a second, these fuckers have cheese in the them?  DAAAAAMN.  Halfway into the first one I ate I noticed the cheese, which I don't not remember them having (it's been awhile).  So that's pretty cool,  it complements the garlic without being overpowering.  Then dipping them into the thick marinara was almost too much, like not even fair.  These things don't even need the sauce to begin with.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 8/10

Denny's Chicken Panini and Sweet Potato Fries

Yes, another Denny's review.  There's even more to come because I eat there a lot.  If you know me you know why (and that's pretty much everyone?).  I haven't gotten the chicken panini in awhile so I got it with no mustard.  It's tomatoes, chicken, and that plastic swiss topped with bacon on potato bread.  It's then brushed with "Denny's Cooking oil" (I know all the secrets) and put on the grill for probably a few minutes.

What's weird is this is the only non-breakfast item with bacon on the whole menu, don't ask me why.  Jim "did you know if you sprinkled bacon bits on bacon you can travel back in time"  Gaffigan would be appalled.  If there's one thing I can't bitch about is the skimpy amount of it, I always did the same thing when I made bacon cheeseburgers.  As with anything, the bacon enhances the sandwich and even makes the cheese tolerable.  The thick potato bread is a nice touch, overall a lot of textures blending together for a decent, albeit sort of heavy sandwich (this is Denny's after all). 

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 6.5/10

I got sweet potato fries as a side, looking back on my decision it didn't make too much sense. AS IF THE PANINI DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH POTATO AND GREASE IN THE BREAD HURRR. Not the worst decision I've ever made, though.  They're really good.  If you've never had them they're just as advertised: fries with slight sweetness to them. 

 Fat rating: 8/10

Salt rating 4/10

Taste rating: 8/10

Chronic Tacos Steak Fatty Taco

Chronic Tacos is pretty much mexican food for white people.  Like Chipotle, you can customize your burritos and tacos, as they are made in front of you.  That's where the comparisons end, though.  Their food and atmosphere are nothing alike, the companies have completely different psychographic segmentations. If you have no fucking clue what I'm saying just think Chipotle = hipster (trendy and pretentious douchebag) and Chronic Taco = extreme sportser (athletic and recreational drug using douchebag).

Chronic Taco's servicescape screams surfer bro, from the music to the decor.  Everything looks totally rad, but how's the food?   I got two "fatty" (insert obnoxious pot-fueled chuckles here) tacos with carne asada, lettuce, cheese, mild salsa, and guacamole on two corn tortillas.

The carne asada is dry and more quanity over quality, there are a few onions mixed in the meat for flavor that I could do without.  Lettuce and cheese were standard but the mild salsa is upper echelon, chunky and tomato based.  Unlike pretty much every taco place I've ever been to, guacamole is included so that's a plus; a good scoop of it was topped on each taco.  What you're looking at is as good as it get in terms of what I like on my tacos ingredients wise.  The average and salty carne asada holds them back from being true greatness, however.

 Fat rating: 6.5/10

Salt rating: 6.5/10

Taste rating: 7/10

Taco Bell Grilled Stuffed Burrito

Was craving one yesterday so I got a chicken one.  Usually I prefer steak in burritos but taco bell's steak is basically less rough beef jerky.  Got no jalepeno sauce and they were out of pico de gallo.


As you can see, I am clearly mega-stoked taking my first bite.  That's where the feeling ended, however.  My burrito was definitely grilled, but stuft?  Hell fuckin' no it wasn't. 

LOOK AT THIS SHIT ^^^

As you can see, the tortilla-to-ingredient ratio is pretty shit-bad. It was embarassing, luckily I ordered a side of beans and rice to go along with it. One thing I am not picky with is beans and rice, they're pretty much impossible to mess up. 

Fat rating - 5/10

Salt rating - 8/10

Taste rating - 6/10

Klondike Choco Taco

My fondness of tacos stretches beyond that of meat, cheese, and lettuce into the realm of individually packaged dessert.  After a tip to review a Choco Taco surfaced, I suddenly remembered I had half of one sitting in the freezer for about a month.

I am not a big sweets person, these along with snickers ice cream bars are pretty god tier though.  A chocotaco is a taco with a sugar cone shell, filled with vanilla ice cream and covered in hard chocolate and peanuts.  I first had one last year, the first thing you realize is the cone shell is chewy and not crunchy.  Once you get past that, the choco taco delivers a good combination of flavors.  Maybe I'm just biased because it's just a Drumstick in the form of a taco, albeit definitely less messy to eat.

Fat rating: 6/10

Sugar rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 8/10

Denny's Western Burger

A common thing I've done and will continue to do is refer back to when I worked making burgers/sandwiches/wraps. I always made custom things not on the menu because restaurants tend to not make anything I like with every ingredient.  I say "no ----" a shit-ton, or "with ---- instead".  At Denny's I've gotten a Western burger with prime rib steak chunks instead of ground beef.  Why? Because you tell me with a straight face that hamburger is better than steak.  I DARE YOU.

Last week I got it with no veggies but never wrote a review:

And it was fuckin' good.  A1 sauce + steak is always a great combo, I hate onions but onions straws are the shit because, well, they're fried.  The swiss is probably the same fake plastic-y kind they use at Carls Jr.  Since it wasn't melted I took it off, saving an otherwise mouth-watering sandwich.

I got it earlier today and it was just as good, tender and relatively lean prime rib with a1 and onion straws. Eating this with a baked potato would probably be an all-around excellent meal, so I'll probably get it to-go sometime and just microwave a potato at home. 

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 9/10

Rubio's Steak Taco and Chicken Burrito Especial

Friday night, the best night of the week for a lot of people.  Out mingling with friends havin' a gooood time, doin' thangs.  While others are getting to-tal-ee way-sted, I'm in my room eatin food, watchin' Simpsons, and writing this.   I went to Rubio's and got a steak taco combo and a stea..I mean chicken burrito. I fuckin' ordered a steak burrito but this is what happens when you order take out, SHIT HAPPENS.  PISSED. OFF.

The steak tacos had a lot of steak, but also a lot of lettuce.  Just look at all this green shit on my tacos:

  

                                             THE HELL IS THIS A GODDAMN SALAD


So I took most of it off:

FUCKING LEAVES FOAD

MUCH FUCKING BETTER.  That looks 10x more delicious, they were pretty mmmmm.  The pico de gallo and guacamole added a good flavor to the already delicious carne asada.  This is probably the best carne asada I can think of, especially for an Americanized place.  You can't see it but there was a bit of cheese semi-melted on the side of the corn tortilla (they're also available in flour). The rice and beans they came with were solid. 

Fat rating: 5/10

Salt rating: 6/10

Taste rating: 9/10

Now, the chicken burrito especial, no sour cream and no chipotle sauce.  What's in it is black beans, rice, chicken, cheese, pico de gallo, and a little guacamole.  The thing about burritos is you can't tell how much of each ingredient is actually in the thing, it's a pure crapshoot.  It was a bitch to eat because it was falling a part.  Once I got burrito control on lockdown it was above average. As with the steak, Rubio's makes good grilled chicken, bonus points for the slight charredness.  The blend of the rest of the ingredients was fine and the burrito is a pretty good size.  I ate half of it and will eat the rest tomorrow.

Fat rating: 6/10

Salt rating: 7/10

Taste rating: 7/10